I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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