she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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