My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
