yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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