I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
