This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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