So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
