how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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