Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
