how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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