I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
