I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
