I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
