He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
