dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
