He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
