just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
false alarm, still single
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
