I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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