Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
