i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
