just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
