The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
