I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
