I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
