He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
