I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
