I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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