I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
