I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize