He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
