When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
