My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
