u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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