You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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