Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
