Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize