What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
