well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize