That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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