Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize