THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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