Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
