i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Still dying that you shit outside
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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