enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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