Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize