4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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