Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
