Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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