It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
