We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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