Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
