I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize