Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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