exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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