i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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