Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
