I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize