You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
God, I missed his penis.
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