I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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