Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize