Dude my mom stole all your condoms
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
