she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
