Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
