At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize