that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've blown a few things in my day
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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