I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
