Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
